creative writing- chapter 1

I am dancing around in a vibrant grass field, dressed in the white satin dress my mum adored me in. blooming flowers all around as if they are my audience. Everything is calm and clear, I am in a state of tranquility. This is my definition of peace. I love dreams, you can be anyone in your dreams. Princesses, a serial killer or even just a bystander. Unfortunantly my dreams are often dark and I end up running, running from the masked man trying to kill me.

I used to live in a single storied house with my parents and my sister. The house was nice, it had a huge garden which was well maintained and looked after. We were located right across from the beach, close enough you could hear the waves crashing apon the shore. At night, listening to the ocean was my favourite thing to do, it was so peaceful. So you could say that my life was pretty perfect, well that was until she came into my life. She was the definition of disaster. literally. She was everywhere I turned and there was no escaping it. I remember my last sane day so vividly. My parents said we were taking a trip and we would stay somewhere nice. I was filled with joy and so happy to be taking a family trip. However, I realised by agreeing to go would soon be the worst mistake of my life. When we arrived, I immediately saw the sign reading ST mary’s hospital. There was a sign on the side of the building that made my bones shake.

“In with the old, out with the new”

Against my own will, I walked into the shitty run-down hospital. We were greeted by 2 strange men in white. Why white?, such a depressing colour. Anyways, I remember being restrained and taken away from my parents. I soon found out that each patient is allocated  to a ward depending on their mental status. I was put in ward C, until a while ago I didn’t know what that meant. However I know now that Ward c is the home for the ones who are considered a threat to themselves or others. You were considered mentally unstable to look after yourself which requires you to receive 24 hour supervision. 

I wasn’t quite sure why i was considered a threat to myself or others as it was her fault I was in here. It was if she took over my body and made me do all kinds of bad things and this was the consequence. I want to scream, scream until the thick walls of glass shatter around me. I would be free then. Free from the pain, suffering, the. pills, torture, the demons, and most importantly her. Having someone on your mind constantly is exhausting, it makes your head hurt in all kinds of ways. I try not to think about her, but she is everywhere. When you’re in a place like this, thoughts are your only friend. I try not to think too much, thinking is bad. However, it does give you the opportunity to reflect on life. I wonder, after being in here for so long, is my life even worth living.

A few weeks have passed and I am still hanging onto hope that my parents will come back for me and say they have made an awful mistake. Am I just holding onto false hope? I always wonder about ending it all, finding my peace. I have never heard of anyone leaving here and if they do, they are never the same. This place does things to you, that isn’t even considered humane. This is usually a one-way destination for those who are meant to be forgotten and I must be one of them. I know that if I ever were to do it, it would.